What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He shit in the fireplace
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize