After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
