Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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