I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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