Have you finally orgasmed yet?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
