I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
