I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
