Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
