In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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