Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
