I'd wear matching sweaters with you
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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