we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
