I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
