Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
