We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize