Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
