Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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