sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
