pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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