well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
