Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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