after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize