I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
