The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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