Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
