i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I pour the whiskey from now on
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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