There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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