You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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