did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
You work out of a Hotel?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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