Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
There r osticjed everywhere
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
