get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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