those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
