So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
