what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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