Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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