im drinking this country out of the recession.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
