One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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