He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
