Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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