the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
