Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
