So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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