Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
