I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
