its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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