We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
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