I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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