Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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