i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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