I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize