Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
