Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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