I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
