Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
