Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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