he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
