She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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