I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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