you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
