do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
