I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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