the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Panties = found
Randomize
