it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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