I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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