so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize