I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
