I hope mine doesn't look like that
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
