new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
